Money talks, bullshit walks!
Today it feels like a TKO (Technical Knock Out) with the absolute bullshit that I see on the news this morning.
Without going into all the weight, height and technicalities I put on the TV this morning only to see two guys slugging it out in a boxing ring, clearly not social distancing and it has pushed my buttons to the limit today. And to make it even more comical the referee in the middle has a face mask on, this must obviously be to protect him from any body odour going up his nose from the two sweaty, stinking boxers going ten to the dozen at each other.
All this taking place right in front of my eyes but yet I can’t get to hold my 14 month old daughter, I can’t even get to see my daughter and this is now coming up to 6 hard hitting months, even more harder hitting than the two boxers on the news this morning. It’s an absolute piss take.
I’ve not seen my children, I’ve not held my children and they can’t understand why, but to tell the truth I can’t understand why either.
You try your best to be patient, try to accept the current situation, try to stay positive and remain hopeful but if truth be told it’s a fucking Liberty that a boxing match can take place yet my partner and my children have to continue to suffer and are not allowed to have contact with me in a cat d open prison. Hear that OPEN, so with no confirmed cases of covid in this establishment, this means it’s clear, am I not correct? So why can’t I see or hold my baby daughter after all this time?
Please can someone tell me that this is fair, that this is right, that this is how you maintain family ties and hope that myself and my family can just keep pushing through the days and through the weeks that pass into months.
I’m sick of it, I didn’t cause the virus, my family didn’t cause the virus but yet it seems and feels like we are the virus and we are being singled out, victimised, stigmatised by this government who do not seem to know how to resolve this mess for people that are in prison, yet again more unknown.
Yes I did go out into town, yes I did get very drunk and yes I did punch someone, I threw a punch and my victim was momentarily knocked out and it was wrong, I know I was wrong yes I do regret every wrong decision I made that night, I regret it immensely. I’ve accepted my wrong doing, I’ve accepted my time given in court and I accepted that a lot of rehabilitation work would need doing along side a lot of honesty. But what I just cant accept is this utter cruelty and mental torture of not seeing my family followed by the justification that allowed a fucking scrap in a ring to go on but yet I can’t hold or see my baby daughter.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining about boxing itself, I like boxing, I box myself for fitness and ironically throwing a punch is what has landed me back in this place on a recall, which for the record was my fault. What I am highlighting here is the fucking audacity of the powers that be that allowed this boxing match to go ahead but in the same breath decided that I’m not allowed to hug my children and say to them that I love them face to face, this is cat D open we are mixing with each other and the staff are mixing with us and they are in their allowed bubbles outside yet we aren’t measured by the same rules?
Now you tell me that is fair treatment, tell me my family are not being treated differently, tell me that my kids are not being treated differently than others. Cat D is a privilege and I have worked to get here, you get workouts, town visits, home leave, longer social visits where you can sit next to each other, sounds stupid I know but those little things are big things here. We don’t have those privileges and we don’t get visits because the government say we are at risk yet boxing is going on, pubs are open and I’ve seen the news and there is no mask wearing 2 metre rule going on there. I’m not asking to go the pub, I’m not asking to go to the boxing, I just want to see my family and after 6 long months I want to hold my daughter.
Stopping this happening is disgusting, it’s immoral, it’s inhumane but at its absolute worse it’s cruel to prevent my children from seeing their father after all this time.
But do you know what I’m not angry I’m just frustrated. I haven’t kicked off, I haven’t done a little pointless protest, I’ve just vented this. I’m pleading to anybody who can help outside of here to do something to sort this totally unjust, unfair and unfathomable situation as quickly and as fairly as possible. All I, my partner and my children ask is that after almost 6 months that we can see and hug each other once again, that’s it, I want to hold my family and tell them how much I love them and miss them.